Travels with Auggie

My son and I have the best conversations in the car. If gas weren’t so bloody expensive and it weren’t so bloody environmentally irresponsible, I’d just drive around all day talking with Auggie.

Auggie: Mommy!
Auggie: Mommy!
Mommy: Yes?
Auggie: Mommy! I found something!
Mommy: What did you find?
A: You see it?
M: Honey, I can’t look right now.
A: Why not?
M: Because I’m driving.
A: Look! It’s really neat!
M: Sweetpea, I have to pay attention to the road right now. Why don’t you tell me what you found?
A: I think it’s an egg.
M: (glancing in the rearview mirror and seeing a small, green candy-looking item in his hand) An egg? Are you sure that it’s not a Skittle or something —
A: It’s an egg, Mommy! Maybe a ‘squito, no, I think it’s a… a… a baby crab egg!
M: Wow! How did a baby crab egg get in the cup holder of your carseat?
A: I think the mommy crab just crawled into our car and thought, ‘Oh, here is a good place to leave my baby crab egg,’ and she left it right here!
M: (laughing) She must have known what a good person you were to trust her with her baby crab egg.
A: (solemnly) Yeah.
M: So do we have to do anything special to the baby crab egg when we get home?
A: Yes! We have to take it up to my room and… My little dogs will take care of it!
M: How long do you think it will be before it hatches?
A: Mommy?
M: Yes, Auggie?
A: Mommy, what’s this black line on the egg?
M: Honey, I can’t look right now. I’m driving.
A: Here, look. (Hands me the egg)
M: (glancing at the “egg” and seeing that the candy shell of the M&M has cracked a bit to reveal the chocolatey goodness within) I don’t know, honey, what do you think it is?
A: (taking it back) Oh, Mommy! I know what it is, it’s an M&M! (eats it)
M: (a bit crestfallen) Oh. Well. It was fun to pretend that it was a baby crab egg, though, wasn’t it?
A: I like this song, Mommy.
M: …