Oh, woe is me! What a night and subsequent morning, my friends…
After no developments yesterday morning (the contractions stopped around lunchtime), I just pressed on, working diligently to try and get client work out the door, to no avail. Tim and I went out last night on a last-minute stock-up run to Sam’s and Babies R Us (evil store). Many, many, many dollars later, we returned home and I called my doula to check that she had contacted the list of back-up doulas she gave me. She had not, but promised to do so before she left today. I tried not to dwell on the sheer joy in her voice when she got my call — I’m sure she thought I was in labor. Oh well. Baby will come when he’s ready, right?
Well, I was almost certain it was going to be last night. About a quarter to midnight, I started feeling some actual discomfort along with a contraction. At first, I thought it was just gas (don’t laugh — gas is a serious thing for preggos), but after an hour or so I figured that gas pains probably don’t come every 10 to 15 minutes. I was up until 2, progressively getting more and more excited, but I finally fell asleep sometime after that and awoke to no more contractions.
So, needless to say, when I got up at 7:30 for my daily walk with Tim’s mom, I was (and still am) tired and more than a little cranky. I asked Tim how he slept last night and he gave me a joking answer like, ‘Why? Are you trying to make me feel guilty?’ and I totally lost it. Tears, tears, tears, to his horror. Not good. I’m sure he felt really horrible.
I told him that I didn’t want to do this anymore. I’m tired of being pregnant. I’m tired of waiting for this dang baby. I want everyone to stop rearranging their schedules around the mythical chance that I might go into labor soon. I mean, I still have two weeks to go, officially! It’s kind of a lot of pressure, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. Plus, I’m getting a little caught up in the whole philosophical weightiness of this event, you know? I mean, having a baby is huge. Like on a level a smidge below being born and dying. Getting married, moving away from home, your first love… These things have nothing on having a baby. It’s a lot to think about.
I hope I’m not sounding like a broken record every day. “Gee, I thought it was labor, but it wasn’t.” How thrilling for you. But that’s pretty much my life right now, and I guess it’s starting to get to me too.