My life is a children’s book

Five pounds, lost into the stratosphere!


It’s funny, because everyone talks about how the first week or so’s sometimes dramatic weight loss is “water weight.” I don’t think this is an accurate term, as we have been drinking more water than a weiner dog in the Sahara. (Sorry, I know that was a lame metaphor, but it’s late and I’m tired. Give a girl a break, won’t ya?) Anyway, I’m just thankful that something happened, because I was ready to chuck it all and go for a peanut buster parfait last night.

I feel like I’m learning a lot about myself that I didn’t know before. (Hence the “learning,” Beth. Duh. Please refer that last sentence to the Department of Redundancy Department.) I thought that we ate a fine amount of fruits and vegetables before. Apparently, I must have convinced myself that Fig Newtons and Veggie Booty count in that category, because bumping up our F&V’s to five servings a day is hard! I’m buying vegetables that I have no idea how to prepare (i.e., artichokes).

Sorry to turn into Seinfeld here, but what is the deal with artichokes? Do people really cook these things themselves instead of just buying the jar of artichoke hearts? If someone can enlighten me as to the secret of this prickly, yet slimy when steamed vegetable, please do.

Another thing I’m learning is that I get hungry at roughly the same times every day. Late afternoon is my “dinner’s not for a few hours, so let’s see what’s in the pantry” time. Late evening is my “need something sweet for dessert” time.

Now that I have to deal with these times instead of just eating my way through them, I’ve found that distracting myself by playing with Auggie outside or just drinking some water can help me over the rough spots.

OK! Are you bored to pieces yet? Here’s something funny: Tim and I have to move the entire top floor of our house to the bottom floor! It’s like some wacky Brady Bunch episode! We’re having our hardwood floors refinished in the dining room, living room, all four bedrooms and the hallway. Which means that everything must be moved off of said floors.


Luckily, Tim is on the case, and has slowly been moving stuff down into the garage. Actually, we’ve been like the tortoise and the hare, because last Monday, Tim started clearing off the bookshelves and I was like, ‘Dude, why are you doing that? We’ve got tons of time, man.’

And Tim was like, ‘If we don’t start now, we’re going to be in big trouble. We have a lot of stuff to move, and I don’t want to wait until the last minute.’

And I laughed and laughed.

Of course, now that we’re a week away, I’m starting to get all panicky. I’m all in my list-making mode. Must! List! Everything! Luckily, Tim has done a great job of getting the non-essential things taken care of, so we’re good. I even helped carry stuff down tonight.

Our poor cars have to sleep outside. I feel so bad for them.