Why I cannot wait for 2045

Two of my friends’ birthdays are today. Kim (not Kimmy) joins me in the ranks of the 28 year-olds. Korry is still a relative innocent at 27. Let me tell you friend, it all changes when you’re 27. Or maybe it only changes if you have a child.

Anyway, unfortunately, they both lost their jobs at AOL last week, which is not good. This is poor Kim’s third job that has disappeared beneath her. I offered to send Steve Case one of Auggie’s foulest post-tofu-and-corn-dinner diapers, but Tim said we don’t want to get prosecuted for some kind of letter bomb, so maybe we’ll just keep filing those beauties away in the ole Diaper Genie.

So if you have a job in the San Francisco area for two crack journalists (not crack-addled, mind you), may I recommend Kim and Korry? Korry has extensive knowledge of obscure (some would say useless, but not me) baseball facts. Kim would make for a flirty and fun colleague. Korry wears lots of layers — growing up in Rockford, Illinois has made him a very sensible dresser. Kim is one of the cheapest drunks that I know.

What a package!

Happy birthday, guys. Now, get thee to an unemployment office!