So I’m all in a tizzy about Blogger Pro. Tim has okayed the purchase, but I feel like I need to justify it in some way before spending the $35. (How frickin’ sad is it that I’m making myself work daily in order to spend $35, when last week I spent $200 on a bike trailer without thinking twice? OK, thrice.) Anyway, the deal is that I have to blog seven days in a row before I sign up for Blogger Pro.

This is all a part of my goal to be a Blog of Note. Is it wrong that this goal is now on my Top 10 Things To Do Before Death List? *scratches head and frowns*

In other developments, one of my friends emailed me last week that if my “cycle” continues to occur in this same 28-day pattern, I will be “cycle-buddies” (my horrible phrase, not hers) with her and another friend. I think I might cry… It sounds like a bad pop ballad, ‘Even though we’re miles away, we still can share this bloating today…’ Where’s Celine Dion when you need her?

Tim and I took the bike trailer on its first official trail ride Saturday morning. Auggie woke up God-awful early and we actually made it out before it got too sweltering. We went down to this new bike trail that starts at Laclede’s Landing and follows the river up to the Chain of Rocks bridge, 11 miles away. Me being the big out-of-shape wimp-o that I am at this point, we only made it 5 miles up the trail. But hey, that’s 10 whole miles! I was completely fried by the time we got back to the car. I could tell that Auggie was impressed, however.

That evening, we hit the official Dave and Shannon are Getting Married Barbeque and had a delightful time meeting up with some long-lost buddies from college. Tim went along for the subsequent bachelor party and spent the rest of the night getting to know some of Brooklyn, Illinois’ more “discriminating” strip clubs. Why am I so fine with this? Because my husband admitted that he spent a lot more time ogling SportsCenter on the TVs instead of the ladies. I know this is completely true, as we do not have cable. Poor Tim.

Robourbon, you have to ask Tim about what happened with Slice… Unbelievable.

Anyway, pressure continues to build inside my skull as I contemplate Auggie’s impending birthday party. Did I mention that we’re having two parties — one for the playgroup on Friday, then family on Saturday? Did I mention that the guest list for Saturday has swelled to 24 people? And that’s close friends and family? Who knew we had that many close friends and family? Que horror!

And I’ve managed to get absolutely no work done this weekend. I’m a louse.

Oh! I happened onto a link to this incredible site called babelfish that will translate anything from English into, like, eight different languages. It reminded me of one of the first Web sites I remember from my early days on the Internet, which was the Swedish Chef translator. Remember the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show? He was totally my favorite! That memory led to another great memory of the ill-fated (and foul-tasting) Swedish Chef “Croonchy Stars” cereal that my brother and I eagerly purchased as youngsters. (Well, my mom actually did the purchasing, but my brother and I did our part by bugging the crap out of her until she did.) Ah, croonchy stars. We kept that box forever. It’s probably still in the pantry at my dad’s house…