For the love of all that is good and holy, how can a banana make you burpy?

I was going to post yesterday, I really was. And it was going to be a wonderful post about how we were exactly a month away from my due date and how excited I was to have only a month left. But then yesterday happened and the post did not.

The major problems of yesterday:

1) I smelled natural gas the evening before, yet neither Tim nor I had called the gas company to report the smell. For some reason, this annoyed me greatly. Tim called the gas company, they fixed the leak by our gas meter, but did not turn the gas back on, as I was gone whilst they were here. The big, fat poopheads did not come until the middle of Conan O’Brien to turn it back on. See point 2.

2) Our clothes dryer was officially pronounced dead on Thursday when Tim took it apart, found that two important (and fairly expensive) sensors were no longer working. We ran the numbers, found out that one of the parts wouldn’t arrive until next week and then the pregnant woman freaked out because I must keep my family clean. Their clothes, at least. My son hadn’t bathed for 4 days, but, by God, he’s got April Fresh socks on!

We went to the recently-discovered Sears Outlet store in search of a new dryer and –eureka!– we found an excellent dryer (7.5 cu. ft., baby – even I could climb in and dry myself at nine-months pregnant). Thanks to point #1, I did not get to give it a test run until this morning.

3) Auggie no longer needs sleep, apparently. He needs only caffeine. Wednesday night he woke up at 12:45 and did not go back to sleep until around 3. This is with me laying down with him in his bed the whole time. It was like a sociological experiment: every time I would start to fall asleep, he would toss and turn, waking me back up. I returned to my own bed after 3, vowing to never have any more children. Oops.

He also refused to nap yesterday afternoon, after falling asleep in the car for approx. 13.4 minutes. I struggled, threatened, cajoled, bribed and ignored him for over two hours. He fell asleep the moment Tim got home from work and I crawled into bed and wept.

Gosh, you know, writing about it all used to make me feel better. But today is one of those days (the second already this week!) where I am just done being pregnant.D-O-N-E. And the fact that we’re exactly one month minus one day away from my due date just makes me angry. OK, already. This baby is big and heavy and I’m tired all the time. Can he come out now?

But, really, is it worse to be tired and cranky with him still inside me, nice and safe and quiet, or have him here, crying and newborn-y while I’m tired, cranky and sore?